Employee of the Year
by KorroksApostle
Summary: Good help is so hard to find and the Joker always appreciates service with a smile. April's manic smile and helpful disposition made an impression on him. He's got big plans and could use some assistance. Of course if she's really not interested in helping he can always finish what he started when he first plunged that blade into her. HIATUS FOR REWRITE
1. Chapter 1

Employee of the Year

The blood between her fingers was growing stickier and thicker. April stared up at the dingy ceiling, connecting the dots to make fun little shapes. She didn't know how long she was laying before she realized what she was waiting for.

Help.

She was waiting for someone to come save her, but nobody had called the cops. There was nobody coming for her. Not the cops, no Batman. He wasn't known for being particularly active on weekday afternoons. She would bleed out if she didn't force herself up. April had to make that call on her own.

She still had something she had to do, even if someone had been courteous enough to call the cops for her. This messy stack of cash had to disappear. There was no way they would let her keep it. All her pain and suffering would amount to nothing and the only good thing about this nightmare would rot in an evidence bag or slip away with a sticky-fingered cop. There was no choice.

It was time to get up.

What they never show in the movies is that getting stabbed hurts absolutely everything everywhere. Suddenly, every muscle and tendon is directly linked to the screaming, burning point of penetration. She sat up with a whimper and got to her feet shrieking.

She kept one hand crushed up against the hilt of the blade. The sight of it protruding from her shoulder, bobbing with each step was nauseating. April had to squeeze her eyes shut as she stumbled down the faucet aisle. The shelves and shiny chrome fixtures were smeared with blood. A fresh splash of red every time she lost her footing.

She could almost hear his wild laughter bouncing around in her ears, taunting her.

Stepping over her dead manager was no easy task. The large woman's body filled the doorway. April had to steady herself with both hands to get over the corpse. The knife stood freely in her shoulder without assistance.

Look ma, no hands!

A fresh wave of revulsion washed over April when she felt the gooey crunch of Cathy's hand underfoot.

The sight of her cell phone sitting where she left it almost overwhelmed the girl. She wanted to snatch it up and call for help that instant. She wanted this all over.

Not just yet, she told herself and collapsed against her locker. She pulled out her purse and hugged it to her chest. Sliding down the wall, she hissed in pain when her purse strap snagged on the hilt.

Laugh or vomit? It was a hard choice.

Delicately, she removed the strap and opened the bag. April was planning on dropping the bundle in the sack and being done with it when she had a thought. There was no way she would be able to keep her purse in sight the whole time she was at the hospital and what if they dragged her to the police station? She eyed the bag and wondered what her granny would do.

"Outsmart the pigs!" a voice in her head rang out. April was aware that Granny Kane may not have been the best influence in her life but the geriatric koot had her respect.

April wiped one hand off on her ragged polo and began to poke around the sack. She fingered a small tear in the lining and worked it open a little more and a little more. The bundle wasn't going to fit in all at once so she started peeling off individual Franklins and slipping them in the hole. She would slide in two or three and give the bag a shake to smooth them out.

Tears sprang to April's eyes. They were dead. CJ and Cathy were both dead on the ground. She had mopped those floors so many times, grumbling about those two and now their stains would never come out.

She slipped in a few more bills and shook the bag. Now she was sobbing in earnest. From the pain shooting through her body with every shake of the bag and from deep shame.

The Joker was crystal clear in her mind. There he was standing next to her, there she was chuckling over a pipe pun while she helped him pick out a set. She was dirty. She was selfish. And here she was hiding actual gore covered blood money.

"'Smy blood." She slurred to herself. "Smy blood money."

Finally, the job was done. April dragged herself across the room and dialed with shaking clumsy fingers.

Brrrrrrng...brrrrrrng...click.

"911, what is your emergency?"

April was so relieved, the only thing she could do was laugh.

April Kane, twenty-three year old survivor of the West End hardware store massacre was released from Gotham General, today. Readers may remember the young clerk who feigned death after being stabbed by a member of the infamous Joker gang when they raided the small shop. At approximately three pm, Wednesday the five man gang entered the shop and executed 19 year old Christian James Burton where he stood at the front of the shop. Kane, startled by the commotion, approached to investigate when a masked assailant knocked her to the ground and plunged a six inch fixed blade stiletto knife into her shoulder. The young college dropout bravely bid her time until the assailants left before finding the strength to seek help. Unfortunately before she could get help, her 47 year old manager Catherine Poole had also brutally murdered. When reporters approached Kane outside the hospital, she declined to comment only stating that she would like to "get back to [her] life and never think about that day, again".

KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!

"JUST A SEC!" April shouted as she fought to untangle herself from a mess of sheets. She hissed as she jostled her arm causing burning pain to flair up her shoulder.

She padded across the creaky hardwood flooring, pivoting at the closet to pull a twenty dollar bill from the shoebox stashed with the rest of her clutter. She kept her right arm tucked close to her chest even without the sling.

April swiped her honey colored hair away from her eyes with her left hand, still clutching the cash. She was getting better at doing most things lefty these days.

She peered through the peephole and her mouth twisted into a frown.

Deadbolt, deadbolt, chain, and doorknob lock.

"What do you need, Detective?" April asked before the door was fully open.

The older man smiled, "hey kiddo."

"Hi."

The greasy haired man rested his arm against the doorway, peering over her shoulder.

"Got any company in there?"

"No. Still playing the shut-in game. I'm getting pretty damn good at it. So..."

"Oh, I was just in the building, your downstairs neighbor lady just knocked her boyfriend's teeth in-hooo what a mean right hook! She reminds me of my second ex wife. Boy, she was cute but that rock habit will get cha every time. And anyway, I thought since I'm already here I should check in on my girl!"

"Oh wow, that was just so much information that I uh really didn't need to know. Which was cool... but I'm real busy right. Thai food is about to happen so maybe we can chat another time, Detective Cranston."

"Oh sure, sure. Just one thing, we uh managed to defuse a pipe bomb near the university. Yeah, there's been more than a few popping up lately. Damnest thing, you know." He ran his fingers through his chestnut brown hair and set his blue eyes hard on her dark ones, "your fingerprint showed up on it. How weird is that!"

Suddenly she was choking on her own heart. She could feel the color drop from her face.

"The Joker..."

"Yeah, it looks that way. Unless you had a bunch of terrorists coming through your check out line. HA! That would be some crazy coincidence! Now, did you happen to remember anything about that day that you forgot to mention to us?"

"I helped him. I was friendly and sweet and manic. I put that pipe in his hand... I probably picked it out myself." She did not say.

"No." She barked, "Do you want me to sing the same old song for you AGAIN? Fine, once more from the top. I worked there and I touched all the inventory, my prints and CJ's and Cathy's will probably be on everything. One day I'm organizing some nails when I heard a boom. Dumby dumb dumb that I am, I wonder up to take a gander. Then clown mask, major ouch and I'm on my back until I hear them clear out."

"Yeah, that is the classic tune." He smiled under his mustache.

The wound near her collar pulsed with her racing heart.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you to it. You ever find that phone of yours?"

"I'm pretty sure it's still stolen. This fucking city, can't even trust the hospital staff not to steal."

"Times are hard." He said with a shrug, "a lot of good people are making bad choices to get by." He stooped down suddenly, "hey, evening edition? Wow, I didn't think any kids read the paper. You're just full of surprises!" He thrust the paper into her hand and turned away.

"I'll be seein' ya! Oh and I like the new hair color."

She didn't reply. April tugged the door shut and let out a long shaking breath. She hated that man. She hated him almost as much as the Joker. He was always teasing and hinting. He knew she was a liar and she was terrified by what he might do about it.

She threw the newspaper on to the stack near the door. Ever since she came home from the hospital, there was a copy by her door every night. The first time someone had highlighted the article about her in bright green. Her face had been blacked out with frantic scribbles. She had crumpled it up and threw it away. After that she found the help wanted section always had green highlighter circles. After a few days she stopped opening the paper.

"No noodles?"

"Ah, not yet." She glanced up at the shirtless man wrapped in sheets on her couch.

"Who was it?" Tony asked, stretching.

"Just Detective Broomface. He just wanted to say that he likes my hair."

"Its pretty damn different," he pulled a face. April resisted the urge to bristle. As an official friend with benefits, he knew he didn't have the authority to tell her what to do with her hair but it was obvious he preferred it dark.

"Well, that WAS the idea. I wouldn't have had to dye it if it wasn't for that douche-bastard tit bitched newspaper taking my picture then everyone decided I was a "human interest" angle so they could talk about HIM."

"You're cute when you're terrible at swearing," he said with a boyish smile.

That melted April's ire. She flopped down on the couch, nuzzling into his side.

"Hey, don't go to sleep! The food's gonna be here any minute."

"I'm not hungry anymore."

Suddenly, when she thought of the chili sauce all she could see was a blood drenched counter. Tony wrapped an arm around April's shoulder and she felt her tension loosing.

Tony was a selfish lover and too eager to wring details out of her about the incident but he was warm and he still treated her like a friend instead of a freakshow. And April found that when she had a body to curl up next to she dreamed less of blood and screaming terror and clowns.


	2. Chapter 2

Employee of the Year

April shivered and blindly groped around the bed, searching for her warm lover. Tony was already gone. He usually was by the time she roused herself. The lank man had an early shift at a neighborhood convenience store in the Narrows. His aunt owned it and was basically the only person in the city willing to take his surly muttering. April accused him of watching 90's slacker flicks too many times. Work wasn't supposed to be fun. It was just something you survived.

The smell of coffee still hung in the air and compelled her to rise. She fumbled to grab her thick framed glasses from somewhere under the sheets. Heavy feet staggered toward the kitchen when she heard a commotion in the hall. A woman shrieked and a shiver ran down April's spine.

Deadbolt, deadbolt, chain, and doorknob lock.

She cracked the door open and peered out.

"GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF ME!" screamed the old woman, twisting away from a pair of young men in coveralls. Another man stumbled to a halt behind them, nearly losing his grip on the potted plant he was carrying.

"Its time to go, Mrs. Bennett. You were given warning after warning and you never paid your rent."

"So what! Now you're going to throw a delicate old biddy out on the street?"

They continued to attempt to gently lead her down the hall.

"This is an outrage! What about her?" She demanded thrusting a withered finger toward April's face.

"Everyone knows Amy here is the biggest bum on the floor. Why aren't you dragging her fat behind into the streets?"

"Because Mrs. Bennett, April here is paid up," boomed Mr. Z. April whipped her head over to see the elderly man with the unpronounceable surname slowly appear inch by inch, coming up the stairs.

"Her?" Mrs. Bennett eyed April suspiciously, "with what money?"

April's eyes widened. She opened her mouth, "with a clown's blood money, obviously," she did not say. Instead she made a sputtering noise.

"Have you really not heard, Mrs. Bennett? Ms Kane has been through very big trauma." He said in his thick eastern European accent, "The Joker, he kill her entire shop. Bad news for poor little one. The terrible things..."

"You really believe all that? She probably just made it all up to wring some sympathy outta ya," snarled Mrs. Bennett.

"No, is the donations you used to pay, yes?" he asked.

April shook her head a fraction. That was a good lie and she would probably use it in the future. In the moment her brain was too thick with sleep and she couldn't force a competent lie out of her mouth.

"Now, is time to go, Mrs. Bennett. You had your chance. Your things will follow you down." He gestured with his cane and the young men urged the incensed woman on.

April was about to pull the door shut when Mr. Z motioned toward her.

"Ah April, I am glad I caught you. So yes, you have noticed your neighbors have moved? I try to be a nice man but nice men get taken for all they have. Well, I say no more. So if they will not pay, they will go.

"I want to say that I thank you, again. You are welcome to live here for many years and you will pay because you are a responsible sort of girl. But if you want to leave, I understand. Daaangerous times in neighborhood."

April's guts twisted, a sensation she was very familiar with these days.

"I'm good. I've already got all my stuff in there. And I can watch tv from the shower if I want, so its got that going for it."

"Ok, good good. But warning you now. It is going to be VERY loud during the day. I fix up all these apartments, attract some good tenants with money to pay."

"Is there anyone else left, at all?" April asked with a furrowed brow.

"You are the last one. Lucky timing, yeah? I plan this for months and yet you made it. Very lucky girl."

A lightbulb in her mind slowly flickered to life as she started to understand.

"Ah ha." All new tenants meant an all new payment curve for the rent. This building had been rent controlled for decades. She could only imagine what he would like to jack the price up to. And with all the tenants gone and shiny new furnishings, the board would likely allow him to do as he pleased.

He laughed and scratched his bare scalp.

"Say, have you found new job yet?"

"You have a nice day, Mr. Z."

"And you, Ms. Kane."

...

Just as he promised, the following day deafeningly loud power equipment grinded and whirled from every direction. Pounding thumped above her ceiling. April smashed her hands over her ears as she paced her apartment but she couldn't take it for long and had to get out.

She pushed her glasses up her nose and hunched her shoulders as she stomped down the sidewalk. As horrible as that old crone had been, she was right. April should have been thrown out with the rest of the tenants but thanks to her fairy god serial killer she had easily paid the owed back rent and a couple of months ahead.

That stack of money was now a small pile of loose bills. Most of the remaining Franklins had been busted down to Jacksons and Washingtons. They were right. Everyone who hinted and queried, wondering where her money was coming from and when she was going to get a new job. She needed to get out there and start earning but she just didn't feel ready.

The chances of ever seeing that clown again were next to zilch but the idea of being trapped behind a counter shook her to her core. CJ wasn't supposed to be at that register. If she had been caught off guard like him she could see herself panicking. That bullet was a kindness compared to Cathy's fate. April had made the explicit decision to avoid looking up the ends that Joker's other victims had met.

April bought a coffee and sandwich from a vendor and found an empty patch of grass in the park. She jostled clumsily trying to maintain her hold on the paper cup and unwrap the hoagie. The damned sling made her even less coordinated than usual. Finally she managed to settle.

She had always enjoyed her time alone but since that day she craved crowds. The idea of slipping away anonymously into a thicket of people made April feel safer. She was just another nondescript girl with light shaggy hair and thick thighs.

"Stop criminal scum!"

"Hoo hoo hee ha ha! You can't stop me Batman. I'll kill everyone with my bombs!"

April jerked around to see a couple of kids wrestling in the grass.

"Your evil terrorism ends today!" The freckled one proclaimed.

The younger boy grinned darkly, "Batman, you can't stop me. No one can. I'll always win in the end. The JOKER gets the last laugh!"

Before she knew it, April had abandoned her lunch and was sprinting away. What was wrong with kids these days? She didn't recall playing terrorists vs vigilantes when she was growing up. Osama bin Laden, eat your heart out. There's a new mass murderer on the block.

She found herself back in her apartment soon after, kicking aside the newspaper in front of her door. She had considered floating around Tony's shop but she knew acting clingy would just drive him away. Their time together was supposed to simply be an amusement. If he knew he was her lifeline he would cut the tether and run for the hills. April couldn't stand that. She needed him to not be afraid of her.

He wasn't the first friend with benefits she'd had. That actually was April's preferred method. She remembered scandalizing her college roommate.

"So you're really just going over there for SEX?"

"Well, hopefully pizza as well."

"You're worth more than that. Just because you're not the prettiest doesn't mean you should let men use you."

"First of all, I'm frickin' awesome. Beyonce said so. Second, you act like I'm not using them too. Remember the pizza bit?"

"I don't know. That sounds like a pretty lonely life to me."

That was years ago and things had certainly changed. April stared at her empty inbox. Two days out from the last time he crawled out of her bed and not a peep out of him. She made an indistinct grumbling noise and pushed her glasses up to rub her eyes.

"Ok. Enough of this," she declared out loud, "Don't you think about stupid boys or stupid mustached detectives."

She stood up and walked over to the bathroom and started filling the tub, dumping half the bottle of lavender bubblebath under the tap. She whirled into the kitchen adjacent to the bathroom door and snatched up a bottle of bourbon.

"You're not going to think about money," She turned on the radio and twisted the knob way up, just managing to drown out the construction with a throaty love song.

She slipped out of her sling and shimmied out of her jeans.

With steaming water slowly enveloping her she closed her eyes and sighed.

"And you're not going to think about the Jo...about _clowns_." Behind her eyelids she saw a yellow toothed smile and she reached for the bourbon.

...

After several stretches of commercial free classics the construction noises went silent. After the bubbles had dissolved and the water grew cold for the second time and the bottle became lighter and lighter April finally decided to pull herself out of the tepid water.

In keeping with the doctor's recommendation, she dabbed at her stitches with disinfectant,careful not to press against the wound. She eyed her reflection as she tossed the cotton ball in the trash. What a flattering scar she was going to have. April turned left and right but the bulge stood out from all angles. It was a fleshy pink caterpillar with thick black stitches crawling under her collarbone. All her wide neck shirts, tanktops and cleavage showcasing gear could go straight into the trash now. Someday she would come up with a plausible lie about it. But for now, she would rather cover up.

Of course, it could be worse. She had googled herself one time too many. People knew about the stabbing but they loved to throw in their own details. One anonymous hospital insider said that the Joker's hench thug had carved a big nasty J into her. Another claimed it was a smiley face. April had scoffed aloud at that one. The idea that getting stabbed was so boring that people had to exaggerate. That mentality told her that none of them had ever taken a blade to the shoulder. It was enough. She would gladly vouch for that.

April wrapped a thin scratchy towel around herself. Her right arm naturally floating up into the phantom sling position. With a final glance at her reflection she drifted out into the livingroom. The smell of coffee greeting her should have been a clue that something was off but her mind was sluggish from bubblebath and bourbon.

She floated over to the steaming pot to pour a mug. She inhaled the warmth and sighed contentedly.

"Tony..." she called out, wandering over the couch before squawking in surprise. She jerked back, clumsily sloshing hot coffee over her hand. It burned painfully but she couldn't be bothered with that.

The Joker was lounging on her couch, stretched out with his feet crossed at the ankle, his filthy shoes on her throw pillow. He had a hand supporting his head and the other holding a steaming mug of her coffee.

"Tck, that looks like it smaaAAArts," he sang nasally.

She opened her mouth but no sound came out. Her knees wobbled and she just had to sit down. She fell into a wooden rocking chair that squeaked in protest. April's mind was violently blank. There was only the roaring static of an old tube tv with the volume all the way up. She couldn't move and didn't have a thing to say. Some will tell you that when you're on the cusp of death, your entire life flashes before your eyes. Well, her brain was set to the wrong station and no signal was getting through.

Joker pursed his lips, raising an eyebrow under his flaking and smeared make up. He uncrossed his legs and swung up into a sitting position.

"Helloooo? Is, ah anyone in there?" his voice was low growl.

"Areyouheretokillme?" She spit out, far more shrill than she would have liked.

His lips pulled into a thin line, crinkling the fat scars at the corners of his mouth. He stared down at her. His eyes flitted down from her face to her toes. They curled under his gaze. He looked her over for a long moment and she trembled. Finally, he made a click noise with his tongue, firmly setting down the mug on the coffee table with a loud CLINK that she flinched at.

"Well, this IS disappointing." He stood up, looming over her. She stared up at him, with wide eyes.

"W-wha…?"

"I was um confused, I'm sorry." he said rubbing his brow. He began to pace across her small livingroom, "Frankly, this is all a litTle bit embarrassing for me." he said, shaking his head.

April didn't know what to say. She opened her mouth and closed it again. He was still pacing when he whipped around to face her.

"This isn't how I thought this was going to go, today. Not at all. When we first met, you were nervous. Of course, any girl would be when meeting a faaaamous guy. So, I understood why you didn't have much to say. But, uh, then we broke the ice! You and I had some good laughs. I even gave you a little reward for your troubles. But you, ah," he chuckled, "yoou don't like me, do you?"

"Wha- no! I…!"

"Nonono!" he interrupted, "I don't appreciate LIARS."

"Please! I like you, of course! Y-you've just caught me by surprise. I didn't expect anyone, especially not you to v-v-visit, today."

He grabbed the mug from the table and flung it at her roaring, "SHUT UP!" She dove out of the way, shrieking as she jostled her wound. He stalked toward her. She scrambled backward, one hand gripping the towel closed.

"Wait, wait,wait! T-talk to me! What, what were you picturing today?" she hoped her voice sounded more friendly than terrified.

"Aaaall I wanted was to have a cup of coffee with a good buddy of mine and have a niiice little chat."

"We can still do that! I'll just get you a new mug." she gestured vaguely at the kitchen, grinning maniacally.

"But you don't REALLY want that." he said with a huff, "See, you were just the first lady to give me a real nice smile after I got outta captivity. I just got it in my head that you really thought I was good guy. I thought you…"

"I had fun with you!" she screamed out, "You really were funny and I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it but when I laughed, it was because you made me laugh. Its SO hard to deal with a, a guy like you being charming. You were. You are." she rambled, "I just keep reliving that day in my head and I feel so bad because you're scary but you were the best company I'd had in a long time." she felt like she was going to gag. She prayed that there was enough truth in that to sway him. Her feelings on that day were confusing but she knew in her heart she'd rather it had never happened. She could only hold out hope that he couldn't sense that.

It looked like that had piqued his interest.

"Really? You think I'm a charmer." he grinned, his yellow teeth flashing.

"Uh huh."

He crouched down over her, too close. He was always too, too close. She tried to breathe normally as his hot breath puffed over her face. He tilted his head and grinned.

"So, it was a fun day? A good day for you, too?" His knee rested between hers as he leaned in and cupped her cheek. April's heart pounded like a jackhammer under her chest and she was terrified he could hear it.

"Uh huh…"

"Did you appreciate me killing those whiners who you used to work with?" his smile was like poisoned honey. So sweet and deadly.

"Y-yes." her voice was a ghost of a whisper.

"You can thank me, now." his fingers tightened against her cheek. She blinked back tears as best she could.

"Th-thank you." she could see he wanted more, "Thank you for killing them. I...I hated them both. Cathy was a controlling...controlling bitch. I hated her stupid voice. S-she was always there." she couldn't help it, the tears were falling shamelessly, "CJ was," she hiccupped, "CJ was a stupid jerk. Stupid, stupid, stupid CJ. H-he was a good for nothing." she was loudly sobbing at this point but Joker smiled and nodded as if she wasn't, "I had had dreams about them dying so many times. I...I...I...couldn't, I couldn't help it. Cartoonish ex-explosion or falling into a giant meat grinder but I never thought. You- you appeared and I didn't mean…"

"Hush, hush. Shhh, shush." he stroked her face and hair with a clumsy hand, half jabbing her and scratching his dirty nails on her skin. Then he stood up, unfolding to his full height. He smiled pure saccharine down at her.

"Why don't you go find something comfy to wear, lil Opossom…" he gestured toward her bedroom across the room. April rubbed away the tears on her cheeks and dragged herself to wobbling legs. She didn't want to think about how long he had been exploring her home before she came out. She stood, clutching the towel with a white knuckled grip.

The Joker was on her before she could turn around.

She cried out in surprise as an arm snaked around her shoulder with fingers pressing against her stitches. He dragged his fingers up and down the puckered wound.

"I didn't...what did I...?" She panted, adrenaline choking her..

"Forgot to mention this, but-ah I really re-ALLY hope you don't come back with some kind of weapon. It would be very dumb. Any kind of weapon, Missy, I'll know and I'll have ta kill you. We could have a good time, the two of us. But if you get stupid on me then only one of us is going to have any fun."

He spun her around, grabbing a hunk of hair behind her ear, dragging her face towards his.

"No...!" She gasped.

"You know, I can hurt cha... without killing you. I can make iT ah last," the Joker paused as he twisted his his grip to painfully pull her hair, "for aaas loooong aaas III LIKE..." his dirty fingers tugged at her stitch.

April yelped, which seemed to be exactly what he was looking for because a boyish smile broke out across his face.

"Ok! So go put on something, ya little exhibitionist! Scoot! We've got a little bit of business to discuss when you get back." He spun her around again and gave her a shove.

April fell to a knee but scrambled back to her feet and scurried to her room. Once inside, she hesitated for a moment before slowing pulling the door closed behind her. She didn't dare lock it. April took a deep breath and bit her knuckle, sliding down against the door. She tried to smother the sob but couldn't help it. She allowed herself to cry for a short while but knew she had to get back out there, fast.

But she was still so very afraid. What business could he possibly have to discuss with her? April really didn't want to know but this wasn't about what she wanted. She wiped away her tears and got up.


	3. Chapter 3

Employee of the Year

There were so many people buzzing around. Chatter filled the space like a physical presence. Shrilling phones punctuated incessantly like the wave of noise intended to build to a crescendo but nearing its peak, it would roar back down.

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Consider Shutting up? JUST SHUT UP. Shut up.." she desperately wanted to scream.

At the at moment, April couldn't confirm if this feeling in her chest was a panic attack or merely her body building pressure so that she could just pop like an over inflated balloon, gifting her with an easy death.

The jump drive burned in her pocket.

When the security guard had peered at it, she was sure it was all over. She would fail and she would die. But he had simply returned it to her and smiled sweetly.

"Welcome to Wayne Enterprises," and waved her through. He had ignored the other thing in her pocket and she couldn't have been more grateful for that.

This was clearly a nightmare, April had desperately thought as she picked through her laundry that night. She had thought about this too much for it to be can't really summon the devil just by thinking about him. That was ridiculous. But this was worse than a random killing spree at her work. He was in her home. He was going to do something to her, to April Kane specifically.

"I can't think. I can't." She wheezed for a few moments.

There was a loud clap when she slapped herself across the face. Her cheek was hot with blood boiling under the surface. But finally, she had a glimpse of clarity and seized it.

"Pull yourself together, idiot!" She hissed, "This isn't worse. This IS better because it's about you. You were lucky to survive and you managed to because you had to. Now you're going to do it, again. This time it isn't about luck. April Mae Kane does not go quietly, not yet. You're going to live through this, damn it."

Ok, good pep talk, she reflected.

April pulled on a loose blue shirt, brown cargo pants and a pair of old tennis shoes. She didn't know if he was going to try to take her somewhere or if the opportunity to run would present itself. Either way exposure was vulnerability and she was already in a bad enough situation.

She glanced around the room. There weren't a ton of weapon options in there at all. Maybe the lamp or break a vase to use as a shank. Maybe she could beat him to death with her big purple vibrator.

That was enough to pry a smile loose. She was about to pull the door open when her eyes drifted down to the phone sitting on the dresser. She took a step toward it but stopped when she noticed the cord had been cut.

She let out a frustrated puff of air and swung the door open before she could lose her nerve.

"So you don't trust me?" Her voice as conversational as she could manage.

"Oh, about as much as any cornered critter. That's why you got the heads up! So we can have a _niiice_ civil talk without you biting me or doing something silly like breaking your own neck while struggling."

He cocked his head to the side and studied her from head to toe. She squirmed under his scrutiny.

"What?"

"Oh it's nothing. I'm just surprised. This isn't the first time I've busted in on someone's casa. Sometimes, they throw on some green or purple. I think it's uh subconscious move to earn my favor."

"Oh, I've got something purple for you..." she dismissed saying.

"I didn't want to crib your style."

He hooted. For a moment she thought that someone had to hear all that unabashed racket. Maybe Mrs. Bennett would call the cops. Then she remembered that she was alone. He could flay her and she could scream but...no, not a helpful thought. She squashed it down. She found herself staring at the wall behind her rocking chair. Small jagged cuts in the plaster seemed to bleed brown where April's coffee mug had smashed into it. That could have been her face if she had reacted even a moment later to the Joker's abrupt attack. Her thoughts shifted to CJ and the stains he left behind.

"You still in there, Sweetheart." the Joker crooned at her. She realized she had drifted away and jerked back into the moment with a start.

"Come sit down with ole Joker. I promise I won't bite."

She flinched at the very idea but dropped down on to the far end of the couch.

"Ok, now that we're all settled. I'll get right to it. I want you to get back to work."

"What, you want me to help you shop again?"

He laughed at her then, a deeply amused chuckle at her stupidity. It stung her.

"While your insight to chaulk was certainly scintillating, I believe we covered all you are good for in THAT area."

"You're making bombs." she blurted out.

"Yeah?" it came out an unamused croak.

"The cops keep implying I'm involved. This one detective, he's out to get me!"

"Well, ya _were_ involved. Probably won't help your case that your phone has been used as a detonator."

"M-my phone was STOLEN by some junkie hospital staffer. Or you, I guess. Probably should have guessed. But, they can't...you wouldn't!" she was almost hyperventilating, "what do I do?"

"Maybe you can just keel over, play opossum like you told the newspapers," his voice was teasing but there was a tense core to it.

"I thought that was what you wanted me to say!" she was on her feet, trembling with frustrated terror, "No favorites, right!"

"That's right. Though, circumstantial evidence does keep mounting against ya. Don't it? But it can't be all bad. I'm sure you were smart enough not to spend it all in one place, right?"

She paled at his words. All the back rent, paid in full. She dropped back down next to him. She was terrified but so exhausted. So very exhausted.

"Mr. Joker, what business could we have? I don't understand."

"Please, Mr. Joker was my father. Well, li'l opossum it's about the one thing we have in common." his eyes gleamed as he grinned at her, his slick yellow teeth shining.

And his hand was on her face again, nails not quite cutting into her skin.

"People know our faaaces. The two of us are famous. Sure, you're a flash in the pan. But right now, your mug is currency. Poor little shop girl survived getting bit by the big bad wolf."

He tugged the the corner of her mouth up with his thumb. The dirty chemical taste nearly gagged her.

"And poor little miss is going to need a new job before she wastes away."

April turned her head to dislodge his fingers. He allowed her to go.

"Yeah. Did you, uh, have anywhere in particular…?"

"That should be oobVious."

With the liquor and fatigue weighing heavily on her, April couldn't handle many more of these games.

"It should be but I'm extraordinarily stupid. Please just tell me so I can do your bidding."

He stood up then and wandered over toward the door. Was that it? He was just going to leave her to figure it out on her own?

Instead, the Joker crouched down and swiped a newspaper off the stack by the door.

"You ain't much of a reader, are ya?"

"N-not the newspaper. It just depressing and ya know biased."

"But it's so helpful too! Look at these classifieds!" he noisily thumbed to the back of the paper, "Looking for a good time…? Well that probably isn't what we're looking for. Save that for later. But what's this? I think I see something with ya name on it."

He thrust the paper into her hands. There was the green marker like the other papers. This one did have the additional black chicken scratch with arrows pointing to the circled ad, as well as her name accompanied by expletives.

"I guess I've been ignoring the paper for too long, huh." she peered down through her glasses at the small print.

She squinted down at the paper back up at him.

"I don't get it."

"The job is just the set up. You wanna know the punchline?"

She did and she didn't.

Days later she sat squirming in a chair outside of the Human Resources office of Wayne Enterprises. The whole building seemed to conspire to exacerbate her bad mood. She'd never been assaulted by such a sunny day in Gotham, the light glaring through every floor to ceiling window.

"Agril Kane?" a lean woman in an expensive looking dress called out.

"Here!" April called instinctively shooting up from her seat. She wobbled on her only pair of high heels. It felt silly to dress up for an interview that she didn't intend to get hired at but it felt sillier to go into the biggest company in the city in ragged sneakers.

"Right this way, Agril." The woman said cheerily.

April followed, reaching into her pocket to grab the precious piece of gum. She unwrapped it as they walked into the glass office. Her eyes immediately landed on the computer sitting caddy-corner on the desk. She could see the tower discreetly positioned under the desk itself. Near it was a small waste basket, just as she'd hoped.

"Thanks a lot. By the way, it's APRIL like the month and also the incredibly common name." She popped the gum into her mouth and chewed as the older woman shot her a sharp look.

"My niece is named Agril."

"I'm sorry. That sucks." April replied compassionately but the scowl showed it wasn't taken well.

They sat down and April sucked on the gum noisily. She didn't know how long it would take to work.

"So," the woman sat down prettily on the other side of the desk, "My name Mrs. Bohn. But everyone just calls me Anita."

The cogs whirled in April's head, "Anita Bohn?"

"Yes?"

April bit her lip to contain herself. In all the stress and chaos, this moment seemed to be a blessing.

"Oh nothing. I had a good friend named Anita too. Anita Woodcock. Yeah, I need a Woodcock. Good stuff. Good people. But I need a bone. That's a pretty name, too. Do you get a lot of compliments on it?"

"Yes, actually."

"GOOD!" April nodded emphatically, "Because you should."

"Ookay. So, Ms. Kane do you have a lot of experience with filing?"

"Some," she replied, returning to the moment, "Mostly inventory and stuff."

She felt the roil in her gut and her mouth began to water.

"So, none in a large setting? We've probably more employees getting mail every day than you had inventory to count. Do you think you'd be able to step up and rise to the challenge?"

"Yeah, well my last job…" April gagged, "my last job I had to," she gagged again.

"Are you alright?" Anita asked, brows deeply furrowed.

"Yeah I'm jus-" and in a graceful jaunt, reminiscent of an interpretive dance on possession April shot to her feet, her head snapping back. She wobbled back and forth violently swaying before arching forward to vomit all over Anita Bohn's shiny glass desk.

Anita shrieked and April fell.

Anita scuttled around the far corners of the office to get away from the mess.

"Can you get me some water?" April was on her knees, wiping sick from her face, her glasses askew.

"NO! Y-yes. I...I'll be back." Anita Bohn practically ran from the room.

"ACME GAG GUM. THE ORIGINAL SICK STICK! RUINING PARTIES SINCE 1927!"

April would have to remember to give Acme gag gum a good review later. The product delivered exactly what was on the tin. But at the moment, she had something far more pressing to deal with. She crawled around the desk moaning dramatically that she might vomit again. She grabbed the small waste basket with one hand and pulled the jump drive from her pocket with the other. It was small. Inconspicuous, hopefully. She fumbled for only a moment before sticking it in the port and her task was done.

"Oh geeze. What happened in here?" A deep voice inquired. April jerked her head up and through the unblemished portions of the desk, she made eye contact with a dark haired man. Her heart thundered. Had he seen her put the flashdrive in? God, what if he saw?

"I'm sick." She said lamely. April grabbed the trashcan and stumbled heavily to her feet.

"Yeah, looks that way." He leaned back uncomfortably, wisely staying out of the the office proper.

"I'm so embarrassed. I'm gonna just go."

"Wait, do you need a ride?"

"I'll call my own cab." She stumbled away.

"Wait, are you sure you're ok?"

"Nerves and the flu! Maybe food poisoning. I need to go before I infect everyone."

April stumbled away, twisting to glance over her shoulder. He was still looking at her until the elevator doors closed between them.

It wasn't until April was stepping out at the lobby that she realized she was still clutching the waste basket. Awkwardly, she placed in the corner and shuffled away. Done and done. She was painfully relieved.

"How am I supposed to get this to the computer? If I'm talking to the HR guy, he'll probably be in the room."

"Get creative, kiddo." the Joker had replied.

"What if I can't do it? I'm not, like a spy or..."

"I'm sure you'll find a way! Just be crrreative." he stood up and moseyed to the kitchen counter. The painted man quickly found one of her larger knives and thumbed the blade idly.

"If you really CAN'T think of anything, I might find myself _creatively_ inspired. After all, there's more than one way to skin a opossum."


	4. Chapter 4

Employee of the Year

His touch was soft as it ghosted over her curves. Hard fingertips pressed against soft flesh. He smiled down at her, biting his lip as he puffed hot air over her face. Then his hand settled on her cheek. April flinched, her breath hitching in her throat. Again. Tony scowled and rolled off of her.

"Wait! I'm ok," she said bolting up.

"You don't seem to be," he grumbled. Tony twisted away from her and began to pack a bowl of marijuana. He hunched over stretching his swirling tattooed shoulders.

"Tony…"

"Do you even WANT to do this anymore?" he interrupted, "We can stop any time but I can tell you I don't enjoy you twitching like a scared rabbit. This was supposed to be about _fun_."

She wasn't a scared rabbit. Opossom seemed to be the consensus.

"You...you know I almost died. I'm allowed to be kind of wonked out!"

She grabbed her glasses from the nightstand and glared at his back. Tony fumbled with pipe, taking a drag. April reached around him to take a turn when he pulled it away.

"Kane, you don't need this. You're already paranoid enough."

She sputtered. He turned his dark gaze to meet hers, "Do you know that you keep crying your sleep? I didn't want to say anything but last night you kept thrashing and it just... its so _creepy_. You were doing ok and now you're worse. I have to be honest. Its getting hard to be around you."

April was mortified.

"And...and you're always here. You slept over all week and you're here when I leave and you're here when I get home and...I didn't sign up for this."

"I'm afraid a painted madman will kill me if I go home." she did not say, instead she blinked back her horror and humiliation.

She stood up and tugged on her jeans. Her lemon yellow bra was on the nightstand and she hooked it on without a word. She snatched up her shirt and felt sick when it didn't fit right. Why did her stupid shirt shrink? April started to sniffle against her best efforts. Nothing was right and even her clothing was ill fitted like her entire stupid life lately.

"Ape, that's my shirt."

"Well now it's mine, bitchface fucko...dickboy!" she barked. April snatched up her scattered belongings, slipped into her sneakers and stormed out with her head held high. She made it down the block before she started tugging the small shirt down. It kept rolling up over hips with each step.

She flopped down onto a bench and rubbed her eyes.

It had been a mistake to try to hide from her problems at Tony's. He wasn't her boyfriend and he certainly wasn't a protector. If the Joker or the cops wanted her, they could have shoved her scrawny lover out of the way with a half hearted push. She could almost laugh at the image. Just grab Tony by his face and fling him across the room. He would probably still complain about how weird she was just because a mass murderer was stabbing her to death. Now he treated her like an alien, just like the rest of her friends had.

She hadn't been back to her apartment since the day of her interview. Strangers came and went all day with their maddeningly loud construction equipment and the nights were unnaturally quiet since all the other tenants were gone. She felt too vulnerable. April started to gently rub on her stitches.

 _Ping ding ding_ , her phone chirped. April furrowed her brow and peered at the unfamiliar number on the screen.

"...hello?"

"Ms. Kane?"

"Uh huh."

"Hi there! My name is Marcus, I'm with Wayne Enterprises and I was wondering if you were still interested in that mailroom position?"

She sat there, mouth agape for a long moment.

"Ms. Kane?"

"You...a-are you sure you meant to call me? I-I puked on my interviewer..."

"Yes," he chuckled, "There was some discussion about that but then we recognized your… uh we realized that you must be very dedicated to be that nervous."

My god, they really are hiring me because I'm a goddamned charity case. Wide eyed victim. Oh look guys, the vomit geizer was also blood geizer once! She can get all her bodily fluids on on important documents! Stupid recognizable mug, she internally grumbled.

"The boss really sympathized and insisted we bring you on."

"I-need-a Boner really felt that strongly about me?"

"Anita Bohn. But never mind. Are you still interested? Can you come in on Tuesday?"

"I...I guess so."

"Great! Just tell reception who you are and they'll get you where you need to go. Welcome to the team!"

"Thanks...teammate." she awkwardly replied and quickly hung up. April screwed up her face and tried to think.

Maybe this was actually a trap. The dark haired guy HAD seen her put the flashdrive in or Bohn had found the drive. Well, joke's on them. If they interrogate her they will get nothing. Pawns aren't included in strategizing meeting with the rest of the chess pieces. They get sent out to have a distracting death so the rook or knight can do their thing. April chewed the inside of her cheek. She didn't expect a callback at all but this could actually be a good thing. She would probably make more money there then she did at the shop and especially more money than flat out unemployment. If she chose to forget the circumstances around her hiring then maybe this could be a step toward moving on. Letting sleeping clowns lie.

Even as she said this to herself, April could feel a heavy anxiety twisting in her guts.

She made it back to her apartment around dusk and the crew had already cleared out for the day. Still she tiptoed through the halls as if she was waiting for a trap. The young woman peered at her door from down the hall. There was nothing outside the door. No obvious signs of forced entry. Then again, she didn't know how the Joker had gotten in that night to begin with. She was always so careful about locking up. It was something she tried not to think about. The clown was a man. Not a ghost or force of nature.

April circled her apartment, taking it all in. The drawers were yanked open, her makeup and feminine products were haphazardly strewn around the counters. She had to step over randomly scattered papers and boxes. Her mattress was half hanging off the bed frame. Total chaos. It looked like she had been ransacked and robbed. But as that's how her apartment usually looked all seemed well. She kicked her mattress back into position and left her bedroom. She pointedly ignored her cut phone cord.

April dumped out the old coffee and settled in to wait for the new pot to brew. She couldn't help but eye the wall over the rocker. The brown stains from him throwing a mug at her head were still there.

Everything was as it should be.

"So! What are the chances you'll be helpful?" The Joker crooned.

April yelped but it was too late. A strong arm snaked around her shoulders and pressed into her stitches. She was pulled back against the killer. His hot breath puffed against the side of her face. It was too dark to see but that voice could belong to no one else.

"Can you resist the oh so intense urge to struggle?"

Oh god, this was all horribly familiar and she could almost remember what to say but she didn't trust herself to respond. Instead she kicked back at his groin. She heard him grunt as she ran for it. It was total darkness but knew that this was the shop. She darted down the aisle in a desperate bid to reach the front. The Joker's laugh surrounded her from all side. She skidded to a stop, gasping in horror at the sight of CJ's mangled body. She remembered the blood from before but it seemed so much worse. Exposed bones and weeping wounds.

What did they do to you, you innocent miserable brat? She shook her head and backed away even though the exit was surely ahead. Kathy's fingers under her foot. April sprung away in a panic. That's when she felt the tug on her collar and her feet flew out from under her. She hit the ground hard and the Joker appeared above her, pinning her to the ground with a knee on her shoulder. A blade was at her throat but she wasn't in uniform. She was wrapped in that same towel from the night he had defiled her home as if he owned the place.

"You can thank me now, lil Opossum." he said with a grin of glinting yellow teeth.

April howled and threw herself away. She fell off the couch in a heap and whipped her head around. She was alone. The coffee pot gurgled, telling her she had only fallen asleep for a moment. There was no point in holding back anymore. She pulled into a ball and screamed. She thrashed and shook her head and screamed.

"Fuck you, fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou. FUCK'N CLOWN stupid miserable bastard!"

Everyday was a challenge after the shop. But she was healing slowly. The physical and mental scars would always be with her but she could take comfort in the fact that being a tenacious and frankly funny person had allowed her to survive. April Kane, the girl who used her wits to live. She had the proud moniker of "survivor" to give her strength. It could have been over then. Neatly wrapped up.

Then he had violated her. No, it wasn't rape but that cheery monster had proven he could do what he liked with her. He had poked around her home, lounged on her only couch while she innocently splashed in the tub. He could have killed her at any moment. If he wanted he could have cut her up and left the pieces behind like a squishy confetti but instead he made her do a menial job that any of his crew could have managed. He used her because she couldn't say no. Even without supervision she was wrapped around his gloved little finger.

He wouldn't allow her the illusion that she had survived because of who and what she was. No, by coming back the Joker had shown that it was always completely on him. She wasn't a survivor. She was left-overs. Something he didn't finish but could pick back up whenever he liked.

For a moment the idea of suicide flickered at the back of her mind. Would the spiteful act show that he didn't own her? Would he even register it that way or take her as another body to add to his count.

She wobbled to her feet.

April found herself at the computer. She couldn't go on like this.

"Please." April typed out.

She watched the bouncing dots indicating that her partner was typing.

"Prv that its rly u" finally appeared.

April sucked on her chewed up cheek for a second before hitting the webcam button. Her own face appeared on the screen. April flinched at it. She had always had such full apple cheeks but they looked so hollow.

The video of her dropped down into a small box in the corner as a new face filled her screen. The cut over her eye seemed to have mostly healed but was undeniably still there. April gave a grimace-like smile but the pretty, but startlingly underfed young woman on the other side made no attempt.

"Heeey there Pearl, buddy." April started.

"Tool shop lady," she coolly replied.

"Well we had more than just tools. It was a pretty eclectic little- ya know. It genuinely doesn't matter. Hi, welcome to Joker survivors anonymous. My name is April and I am super not okay!"

"Pearl Morrison. Joker survivor. Also not okay."

April nodded to herself. She had gone back and watched the reports to get this name then jumped from social network to social network to try to find an account the other woman hadn't abandoned. It was near five in the morning when her friend request was accepting and Pearl tersely accepted April's awkward hellos.

"D-do you want to talk about that day?" April coaxed.

"You are the one who has been pursuing me. Do you really want to hear or did you have something to say?"

Pearl was not particularly friendly. April had anticipated as much. She had still been a bit hopeful, though.

"I do! I do want to hear. Cause, that IS how we can support each other. And you and me are in a very exclusive club. "Ladies who survived Joker's breakout." We should _prooobably_ look into tee shirts. Maybe start a foosball team." she paused, Pearl still unamused, "But I guess there was something specific on my mind. Well you know how the Joker is a homicidal maniac and kind of entirely unpredictable? You never know which way that guy's going. Nope. Uh has he um showed back up in your life?"

"He hasn't left me for a second," Pearl replied in an icy tone.

"Oh!" April's mind whirled. Joker was staying at Pearl's house. Hiding amongst your survivors is a damn bold move but who would suspect that? Should they even be having this conversation? Maybe she should disconnect right now.

"I'll show you." Pearl stood up and disappeared. April heard footsteps and held her breath. There was a click and light flooded the room on the other side of the screen. April's jaw fell open and she blinked hard at the sight.

There were posters and huge sheets of paper, canvas and collages. All screamed in black and red and white. Yellow smile circled in red. Those eyes. Those horrible dark eyes stared from dozens of skillfully rendered nightmares. April realized she had covered her mouth with both hands. Joker's teeth and eyes and hands reached out from each bleeding, stained work of art. There were stacks of canvas on a bed that looked like it hadn't been slept on in a long time.

"Oh my god."

"Oh you still have one? Lucky you." Pearl slid back into the chair and pulled out a cigarette that she lit with shaking hands.

"Uh..,.art therapy?"

"You can say that. But it's more that I can almost close my eyes without seeing him if I fling him out on to the canvas."

"So that's how people with talent cope with stuff. That's cool and not at all terrifying. But...but uh I guess this means he hasn't physically shown back up?"

Her eyes flashed and furrowed under the healing scar, "Are you saying he's…?"

"Uh promise not to tell?" April laughed nervously, "But yeah. Uh I think he's going to keep showing up occasionally until he decides to kill me. Or fingers crossed, maybe he'll forget I exist…"

"Y-you...think he forgets? No. We're all on that psychos timetable. It ends when he wants it to. You need to get the hell out of this city."

"He...is also blackmailing. I think he'll kill me before he turns me in but I uh don't think I'm allowed to run away."

"Well I know something you can do."

"What?"

"You can go ahead and never try to contact me again. You're...you're infected. Dangerous. The best thing you can do is stay away from anyone that you don't want to die. So this is goodbye. Don't ever contact me again."

April opened her mouth.

"Good luck, April. I mean it." and then Pearl disappeared. April immediately when to click on her name but Pearl Morrison disappeared from her contacts. April slumped back in her chair. That had not gone well. She stood up and stretched her aching body. Too many hours in the chair pursuing someone who could relate to her. All that had earned her two minutes of conversation and a reminder that her self imposed isolation was the only option.

She needed fresh air. April tugged on her jacket and slipped into her sneakers. She pulled open the front door and recoiled. A newspaper sat nicely in front of her door. She could already seen the red ink bleeding through the thin paper. Her heart seized, was that ink or…? Her teeth chattered from shaking as she slowly crouched down to receive the Joker's morning message.


	5. Chapter 5

The door latched shut again, all plans of her walk abandoned April sat on the floor and slowly opened the paper. Tugging back the front page allowed her to finally sigh in relief. It was marker. Just marker. The message simply said, "HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN" so he...or probably someone on the payroll noted her return. Pearl's words twisted in her gut and she had feared that she was going to find Tony's fingers or something worse wrapped up. Even wounded by the way he ejected her, April wouldn't wish the Joker's attention on him in a million years. April returned to flipping through the newspaper and her persistence paid off. Section E, entertainment. There, April found the familiar green marker had circled a showtime. There was also some black marker underlining that weekend's popcorn sale at the theatre. April couldn't fathom if this was a joke or not but she erred toward just blindly obeying.

April requested the extra large popcorn paired with a lemonade for a fourth off the regular price. The wonders of capitalism at work. She managed to juggle the armload of snacks and took a seat in the back and waited. After ten minutes or so a few families arrived and settled in. The kids laughed and fought. A pair squabbled over their mother's cell phone. Suddenly, April felt even more on edge than before. She had been anticipating an empty theater. Her mouth dry, she began sucking down the over-sugared beverage.

Would Joker or his gang member be able to make contact with witnesses around? They wouldn't actually do anything to kids, would they? He _had_ ordered her to see this particular movie. Was it a chance for him to prove exactly how deep his depravity ran?

The theater went dark and April held her breath.

The trailers rolled by and nobody else came into the theater. The movie began with a high energy chase scene and an usher poked his head in. April strained to make eye contact with him.

Maybe the contact was an employee...

He looked at her with a disinterested glance before retreating back out.

The movie played on. The cat and bunny had to save their dog friend from the pound or some such. There might have been some subtext about the War on Terror but April was hardly paying attention. Within the first fifteen minutes April had reduced the top inch or so of popcorn into a crumbly mess. She kept picking up kernels and worrying them between her fingers until only an oily confetti tumbled back into the bucket.

After nearly an hour she was really feeling off. Nobody had so much as cracked open the door since the film had started. Maybe it was all just a joke. He wanted her to waste money on this "all star cast" schlock just so he could have a laugh.

Well, hardy har har.

April got up, leaving behind the gallon or so of corn. If nobody had shown up by now she doubted she'd be missed for the few minutes it would take to make a bathroom run.

Joker had, of course, arranged for them to meet at the most run down multiplex in the Narrows. The walls were crimson with stains stretching from floor to ceiling. The dim fluorescent lights flickered ominously. She walked back up the long narrow hall towards the front. April fought the chilling feeling some hands would shoot out of one of the sets of doors and drag her into the dark. She could hear screaming slipping out of a horror movie and moans from an explicit sex scene across the hall.

The restrooms were tucked away behind a bend in the hall. The doors were propped open, revealing a row of sinks and worn old mirrors covered in scratches and graffiti. April quickly made her way to a stall near the back.

As she sat there, she peered through the crack in the stall to stare at the surprisingly shiny red and black tiles.

"Lovely design for a theatre. Such a cheery color scheme! Freddy Krueger would probably be thrilled to drag a date here." She muttered and flushed.

A startled yelp escaped her lips as soon as she opened the stall door. There was a man standing in the middle of the ladies room. He had ginger greasy hair and large wide eyes. He was staring right at her, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Oh sir what a silly mistake! You're in the ladies room. Hohoho! I know my cheeks would be mighty red if I were in your shoes. Although your color is closer to a waxy beige. All well, no harm done, the exit is behind you," she did not say.

"You the guy? I know Mr Joker wouldn't appreciate choo wasting both our valuable time. So, let's get this song and dance over with," she also did not say.

"What guy...uh Mister?" she nervously jumbled her thoughts.

He tilted his head to the side, sizing her up.

"Ulp. No good." She said aloud and jerked to the left. He mirrored her and reached out to grab April. She pivoted to the right at the last second, hoping to skirt around him. She was just past him when he twisted around and grabbed a fistful of her hair, smashing April's head against the shiny tile. She heard what sounded like breaking glass and wondered if he had busted her skull open.

Her stupid, useless body tumbled to the floor. She heard her glasses skitter across the floor. Flashes of stars and pretty colors danced in front of her eyes. Her fingers twitched, wanting to reach up and brush the flashing lights from her sight. But then his face appeared above her wheezing foul breath over her cheeks. He clamped his hand over her mouth.

"That's soo much red. It's getting everywhere. But that's ok. It really is. Red is a happy color, y'know."

He stuck his fingers into the wound. April screamed into his palm.

"Girls look prettier in red. Scientists say so."

"That's dumb. You're dumb." April replied but only a groan came out.

He admired her blood shining on his fingers, seemingly forgetting she was beneath him.

She bit his hand as hard as she could. He cried out and threw himself away from her. April sprang up right even though her head was spinning. She staggered toward the door when he tackled her back to the ground.

His hands were on her throat, squeezing. April kicked out wildly and clawed at anything she could reach. Her pulse beat violently under his meaty hands. She croaked out a plea but no sound came out. Dying in a public bathroom had never been a concern of her's but it suddenly seemed appropriate given her luck of late. Swinging fists were degrading into weak slaps and slipping scratches but she kept willing her arms up.

Your DNAs gonna be all up under my nails, she thought bitterly. One last fuck you before she passed.

"Oh for christ's sake!"

April and her assailant paused their tussle. She saw the usher from earlier standing in the doorway. Hands vanished from her throat. She gasped and wheezed loudly curling into herself. Her own hands rubbing her poor ringed neck.

"God damned compost brain, you ain't supposed to kill her."

"...she ran."

"Did you try to use your freaking words?"

"No."

"Yeah, that's what I figured. Damn it Eddie, when you're told fetch, ya fetch. Now I gotta clean up your god damned mess. Ugh, look at all this blood. If ya gave her a freaking concussion we're all gonna have a shit time when _he_ gets here. Go on, pick her fat ass up. I don't think she's gonna manage those stairs on her own NOW."

"It wasn't my fault," Eddie murmured, "But ok, I got this."

Easier said than done. April felt jagged fingers fumbling under her, trying to get a good grip. He lifted her about a foot off the ground before totally losing his hold and dumping her back on to the tiles. She landed heavily on her bad shoulder.

She squawked horribly.

He attempted to grab her again but April wasn't up for a repeat of that last drop. She twisted onto her stomach and started crawling toward the door.

"Wait, no! He told me to..."

He grabbed her under her arms and dragged her clumsily up to her feet. April blinked dully, her whole face felt warm and wet. She wondered if there were any vital arteries in the face. Pressed against the giant ginger man, they stumbled into the hall together. She lulled her head around to see if any civilians were seeing this. But the dark hall was just as empty as before. They made their way to a door marked, "Employees Only" and began the arduous task of ascending the stairs. The possible concussion came with the benefit of leaving her more numb than not but she was quite aware that her calves and ankles would probably be bruised to hell by morning. With every step up, her legs clumsily banged against the hard metal steps. Finally they reached the top and passed through a doorway into one of the muggiest, overheated rooms she'd ever graced. April was deposited on a couch near the door.

She brushed the blood away from her eyes and squinted through the space. They were in a large and very long room filled with about a dozen projectors all loudly whirring through large reels. She felt a vague thrill bubble up despite herself. She'd never even considered what projection rooms could look like. She didn't know they all shared a space like this. She would have speculated more but Eddie had reappeared.

"What?" She croaked.

He held out a paper hot dog wrapper. She was perplexed for a moment before she got the idea. She accepted and pressed the balled up paper to her bleeding temple. She had many lows in her life but stopping up a wound with garbage would definitely rate high among them.

She let her head loll back and waited for the pounding pain to recede.

"He's going be mad now," groused Eddie.

"And whose fault is that," she coughed and rubbed her tender neck, "big guy?"

"It's sort of yours. I was supposed to go get you, but then I saw you going into the bathroom even thought you were _supposed_ to be in the kids movie. Then...then you were weird and I was supposed to bring you but if you ran...you wouldn't be brought."

"And what about the rest?"

"I got confused. Sometimes that happens."

He fidgeted and averted his eyes. April stared at the man who had nearly choked the life out of her, smashed her face and terrorized her only moments before. She couldn't believe that she was feeling a flicker of sympathy but the heat and the head trauma were working together to smother her anger.

"Hey...Eddie," she said slowly, "can you go get my glasses? They might not be broken. If they aren't I'd really like them for seeing."

"Is this a trick?"

"Ha nooo, I don't think I'm going anywhere. Not while good ole Eddie's on the case."

He scratched his scruffy chin and stared at her hard. Before making his way to the door, "Hey lady, just keep doing whatever the boss says. People who think they're so smart end up having real bad times with him. Just do whatever he wants and laugh when you think he wants you to. He likes that."

Then Eddie slipped out the door. April shuddered despite the heat. She was receiving advice from an unstable goon but she couldn't deny that it seemed pretty solid. How many times had the Joker picked up a Joe Schmo and used them up? How many favors could he possibly think up for her, a nobody with nothing, to accomplish?

The whirling of the projectors soothed her racing mind, somehow. She closed her eyes enjoying the softness of the inexplicable couch. She would just rest her eyes until Eddie or employee guy came back. Maybe she could get a few more etiquette tips for appeasing the serial killer. They must have some insight...

….

"Ow, stop." she grumbled. Someone was pulling her hair, "Get off, Tony."

"But you've got all this hair stuck in ya head wound. B _eeelie_ ve me kid, I know how badly clotted blood tangles the hair."

April's eyes fluttered open and the world crashed down around her. Green and peach haze swam in front of her eyes. She jerked away from the Joker's hand. But it wasn't quite the Joker. The eyes and scars were him but his flesh was bare. No makeup. Pockmarked and scarred skin, dark circled eyes but a nearly human visage. He huffed and sucked his lip into his mouth, chewing his fleshy scar wettly.

"Not past that, huh?"

"Flinching when a murderer touches your face seems appropriate if you ask me," April could not and would not say.

"I...I…you...!" she sputtered instead.

And the Joker lunged.

His arm wrapped around her neck tugging her half into his lap. He raked his knuckles back and for across her scalp and April shrieked. Every injury of the day screamed as he flexed his arm tightly around her swollen and bruised throat. Black dots blotted out her vision from the agony in her head as he hooted. She kicked out, and yanked on his arm with all her might but his grip was inescapable.

"Opossum! Opossum! Say, "Jinkies! Uncle Jay!" Say it!"

"Wah?"

" _Jiinkies Uncle Jay._ C'mon!" and the levity in his voice ground down to a snarl, "SAY IT."

"J-JINKIES UuuuNCLE JAAY. Please stop!"

And he did. Joker chuckled, shaking his head. He sprung up and walked over to the pair of henchman she hadn't realized were there. April slipped off the couch too. She clutched her head and squinted through her fingers at him.

With the makeup he was one thing. An iconic symbol, even close up he seemed unreal always sinking like gasoline and filth. An assault on all senses. But this man with his voice and scars was skipping around the room wearing relaxed comfortable clothes in black and green tones. Somehow the edge of normality left April more shaken then the clown face she had come expect around every corner. A man. The monster was a fucking man.

"What did I TELL ya? I told you she looks like Velma from Scooby Doo." He let out a bark of a laugh, "Well, if Velma had ever gotten the beating that she was owed. Meddling kids, right? Now, if I was the uh, _the creeper_ I know JUST what I would have done. See, I would have lured away the pup with some yummy treats. Then, I'd pull apart that dog piece. By. Piece. Let the kids find him scattered around. Starting with that ole collar. Then the wetter bits.

"Next, Freddy gets it. Choked out by his own ascot." He pulled a bug eyed expression, tongue lolling out the side of his mouth, "Then we've just the two girlies and Shaggy on the run. That's when I get my hands on clever Velma. After er Daphne and Shaggy see what I did to her they go arunnin' for the van. Load up, turn the key and BOOM. No more junior detectives. Free to haunt the neighborhood in peace!"

He flourished at the end all but closing with a tada. He looked expectantly at the two who could only nod at him.

"I always thought Daphne was really hot," muttered the smaller one.

"Shaggy always made me laugh," pipped up Eddie.

Joker tilted his head and took them in for a moment before aggressively nodding. He grinned flashing his tiny yellowed teeth. They were somehow even more grotesque in a human face.

"See something ya like?"

April looked away. She didn't know how much she could take. He was too overwhelming. How had she survived the first time? The first day this leering creature had sauntered into her life. It wasn't brute force. It could have been luck. Maybe it wasn't being clever either. With her head swirling she felt like she finally had a glimpse of clarity. There it was. In front of her the whole time. It was the reason things went so much smoother that first day than they did in her apartment. She had lost her tool but she found it again in that moment.

Denial saved her life.

April's gaze darted around the room. It was never that she was useful. It was that she chose to obey with enthusiasm. Check out, leave your body. Survive by turning off. Smile and dance for the clown. She looked up at him. And he caught the wheels turning. Joker turned to her fully, watching her shift from the inside out.

April straightened up, leaning forward. She locked eyes with this devil in human flesh.

"Just tell me what you want me to like. What you want me to do. I'm _happy_ to help."

She grinned up at him. The Joker perked up.

"Now that's what I like to see. Service with a smiiiile."

They both ignored the tears in her eyes.


End file.
